The aftershock … left my world in pieces

The aftershock of this attack left my whole world in pieces. It has severely affected my relationship with my partner, my ability to leave the house on my own or take my new puppy on walks where we might encounter other dogs. My mental health was something that had ungone a beating before Hiro came into my life but, with his help and a lot of hard work, I had almost completely overcome crippling agoraphobia and major depressive and anxiety disorders. Losing him so suddenly left my world in utter disarray. My mental health plummeted and my world suddenly shrunk again – becoming somewhere unsafe and unpredictable again. My recovery feels as though it is starting again from scratch and trying to remember all the happy memories I shared with him has been marred with the images of having him lying covered in blood, his lung protruding through his crushed rib cage and half dead/dying in my arms – carrying him from vet to vet just to see if he could be operated on – to see if there was any chance of having my baby back by my side again. I am now undergoing EMDR therapy with an NHS Psychologist (something that is not easy or readily available to have without Psychiatric referral) in order to just stop reliving the traumatic events of that day. Nobody should have to feel the pain and total feeling of loss that I’ve experienced. It has touched so many people and I have had a great deal of support through social media and the local press but the police are unable to do anything without us finding the exact person who was walking the dog that afternoon (in this case the dog matching the description is owned by a woman, so the police can’t even speak to her about this matter). Despite it being a sunny April afternoon, during the Easter holidays, in a busy city park – not one witness has stepped forward. A week to the day and time after the tragic loss of my best friend and, to all intense and purposes, my baby, we went and flyered the same park with 500 flyers and yet we still didn’t unearth anymore information or witnesses to help the police start an official investigation. 
I have felt as though my life stopped at the moment I lost Hiro – despite me being left here without him. I miss him and cry for him every single day and can’t imagine a time when this won’t be the case. Alex – June 2019